Initiating relationships

A news report of a trend for American women in their 40s through 60s to date younger men brings forth two theories.

The first is that as we grow older there is a change in balance of power between the sexes. When we are younger, girls have a much greater choice of partners than do males because they can date all those guys who are older than them. However, as we age this balance changes as the guys die off (faster than women do) and as every year a new group of young girls become available. This along with the economic prosperity of our times allows men to become more assertive within relationships.

Could it be that we live in a highly matriarchal society and feminism is a reaction to male assertiveness?

The second theory is that women quietly initiate relationships even though they let men think otherwise. Some years ago there was a report of research by a sociologist watching the initiation of relationships in a bar. It was noticed that women looking for somebody would look over the field, make a choice and place themselves in a suitable location. The first touch was very important and any guy who touched first was probably doomed. Since reading this I have been very sensitive where women place themselves and to being touched. I tend to believe the research. It appears that men don’t have much choice about initiating relationships and all we can do is run away. Smart guys are very picky and develop good running skills.

A few years ago we met a just retired couple. He like to talk and occasionly told the story of how he met his wife. I often wonder what her version was but so long as he was around there was no way to hear it. This summer, his wife, now a widow, came to visit with her best friend from childhood. When I asked I heard repeated his version. When I pushed a little, the friend explained that on these matters women have “secret” stories.

I still believe that generally women initiate relationships.

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